Sunday, December 20, 2009

5 Days Until Christmas...

This morning, someone pointed out to me that Christmas is a great time to forgive people who have "trespassed against us."

And I was feeling all glowy, because I don't have any trespassers to forgive, really. So I was about to check that off my Christmas list, but then I thought a bit more.. And I was like "Oh."

So, in the Spirit of the Season.

To the Ice Queen: I forgive you for being the exact, polar opposite of me. I forgive you for being a size 2, and looking like a Banana Republic ad.  Even when carrying your two week old baby child. I forgive you for getting everything I want, and gloating about it. And I forgive you for wearing black clothes and cool, winter makeup when you are so clearly an autumn. It's good to know that you have some flaws, however petty.

To our Pit Bull Owning Neighbors: I am going to just come out and say it: I hate your dog. Don't take it personally. It's just that, when I come out of my front door with my babies in tow, your dog starts lunging at the tiny, not-very-high fence with such violence and sound that it makes me run for the car, muttering to my children to hurry up and not make eye contact. That is really not something I look forward to. It freaks me out. I don't think it should be allowed. But I am really, really trying not to think that you're in your kitchen, watching the whole thing and laughing at me. I'm trying not to take it personally. I forgive you for moving in, and being completely aloof. Even rude. But I can get over that. And I promise, I'll work on forgiving you for the dog.

To the Guy that Flipped Me Off and Honked: I really apologize for cutting you off.  I promise that I didn't mean to do it. Did you see me wave and mutter "Sorry!" or were you too busy laying on that horn? I kind of thought you were reaching for your gun, in that black Escalade looming down on my very old, slow minivan. I forgive you for overreacting, if you can forgive me for thinking about what a total jerk you are.

To Thomalee: Yes, even now, I am still trying to forgive you for making my elementary years 3-6 a nightmare. You are the first person I ever prayed for as an "enemy." I do not know what I did to incur your wrath on my first day at my new school, when I was so nervous. Perhaps it was very deserved. But when we were 13 and you were looking at all the girl's ankles so you could predict who would grow up to be fat and I was the ONLY ONE that you said would be fat, just as a fact, based on my cankles? That was low. But now, 16 years later, I forgive you.

Ah. That feels better. I hope you can all find a place in your hearts for forgiveness this year.


  1. Hey, now I finally have an outlet to forgive that horrible boy who sat next to me in 3rd-5th grades!! Woo hoo! So, to Daniel M: I forgive you for making each day a pain. I know now, since I'm now married to the guy who was your best friend in college, that you did that stuff because you had a crush on me. And I truly hope you are no longer headlocking girls to show affection.