Thursday, October 15, 2009

You've Got Mail... maybe...

My new (as of Christmas) laptop has started playing hard to get. I push the button. The little Windows flag waves it's cruel greeting. And as soon as the main screen appears, my fingers begin a mad dash through their routine. A race against the cruel and unreasonable temper that rules the Lappy, which will crash at any moment and for no apparent reason. Sometimes it gives me 5 minutes. Enough to check my e-mail. Sometimes it gets to my log in, just enough to see the list of e-mails, and then it crashes.

Which brings up another point: I haven't been able to deletee my JUNK folder for quite awhile and it's piling up. Do you ever look at the stuff in your JUNK folder and think, "Where in the name of Pete did these people get my address???" The random causes, the monthly VISIT FRANCE newsletter, invitations to FUND YOUR COLLEGE CAREER NOW, not to mention FND TRU LV. I can tell you one thing, my true love does not speak cyber.

But, between the moodswings of the laptop, blogging is taking a backseat. In a double decker bus. Behind the old lady with the yappy dog and the young mom with lots of kids, a massive stroller, and a raging case of the Swine Flu.

Yup. That's where I'm at.

Friday, October 9, 2009

"It's a Great Day..."

A picture says 1,000 words.
This picture says everything (and I do mean everything) about my life right now.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Holier Than Thou.

Yes--and by "thou" I mean "you."

Because look at me with my red Target cart and my HAPPY BABY ORGANIC PUFFS in GREENS flavor.

And you're all over there, with your Gerber. *snort* Puh-lease.

I have a friend. She's the loveliest woman on the planet. I'm pretty sure, because I took a poll, and she is so earth friendly. Buys local. Dresses like she's headed to a j-jill photoshoot. Drinks from a Sigg. Sigh. I want to be just like her. She's completely inspired me.

Which is why I've been trying to buy more local and organic stuff.

But I've discovered this great side benefit: self righteous egomania and pride.


Sunday, October 4, 2009


Earlier this week, before 7:00 in the morning, Thing 2 demanded the following for breakfast:

1. Chocolate
2. Little Chocolate
3. Starbursts
4. Hot dogs
5. Cheese
6. Chocolate
7. Ramen Noodles

All attempts I made at "How about cereal? How about eggs? How about yogurt?" were quickly rebuffed in the strongest terms, using an unearthly, growling voice.
As I tried to convince the two year old of the delicious nature of peaches, I began to realize that we are in desperate need of a junk food "detox" before we enter the Halloween to Christmas Candy Marathon. And when I say "We" I mean "all of us"...or at least those of us that are too short to reach the M&Ms.

Day 1 was tolerable.
Day 2 was a nightmare.
Day 3 resembled a hutu uprising.
Day 4 isn't going so well:

Oh well. There's always tomorrow.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

This May Be the Stupidest Blog Post Ever. Don't Miss It.

It may surprise you to know that I have a weakness. It's true.

I can be pretty good at the Air and Aspartame Diet. Also known as the "Shut your mouth and quit eating everything in sight" diet. It's all the rage.

But I have a downfall.

I can so "No" to so many things. So many good, yummy things. Pie. Homemade bread. Pumpkin and pecan ice cream in a chocolate dipped waffle cone.

But not cheese.

Oh help me, not cheap, American, cheddar cheese.

And I have, apparently, passed on the gene that carries this cheesy weakness to Thing 2.

Which is why, last night, when I was getting dinner on the table, the Spouse picked up the small block of cheese that only two days before had been a LARGE block of cheese and said "We ate this much in TWO DAYS???" I pointed, innocently, at the toddler.

I mean, really. It's possible. That he ate that much. On his own. And cut it. With a knife. By himself.

It's possible, right???

Tell me--do you have any weaknesses?