Monday, May 11, 2009

Guilty as Charged

Making mom breakfast.

I hear a lot of talk, around Mother's Day, from people saying things like "Don't let yourself feel guilty" or "There are no perfect mothers--don't compare yourself"... things like that. People give talks in church, and talk about how their moms always said that they felt so guilty on Mother's Day.

But, here's the thing, my "post secret" if you will: I don't feel guilty on Mother's Day. I have no guilt whatsoever. In fact, it's probably the one day a year when I don't feel guilty about my mothering abilities, or lack thereof. And this lack of guilt is making me feel kind of guilty.

Why don't I feel guilty? Because I need Mother's Day, darn it. I need one day a year when everyone is spouting off how great moms are. I know there are single women aching to be married and have kids. I know there are women wrestling with the demon infertility and Mother's Day is about as pleasant as a cleat in the face. I get that. But I'm over here covered in graham cracker goobers and no makeup because I was too busy searching for my kid's shoes to apply anything but lip gloss. My bachelor's degree is rotting in the cobwebs of my mind, and I'm losing any and all people skills I ever had. By the time we pull into the church parking lot, we are 5 minutes late, and one child has fallen asleep so that means I get to carry a big bag, a baby seat, AND a heavy toddler into the church building without losing either my skirt or my temper. This is not the time for political correctness. I need to hear how fantastic mothers are.

So, yay yay yay for us! Yay for moms! Yay for grandmas and aunts! I heart mother's day!


  1. Becca, I liked this post! I found your blog, hopping around awhile it ago, and read it from time to time--I hope you don't mind!

    I only have one child so far, but I can see the importance of Mother's Day for sure. As one who suffered for years from infertility, too, however, you're right--it is like a cleat in the face for sure.

    It's interesting to try to find the balance sometimes between being sensitive to others and asking the sensitive ones to just be happy for those around them. I've done both, and they're both hard. I think mother's deserve every bit of gratitude and attention they can manage to get, but of course my heart still breaks for those not yet blessed with the opportunity.

    But on a happier note, I completely agree with the not feeling guilty part. As mothers, we are fantastic and we deserve recognition! If my son urps on me one more time, so help me...


  2. I also loved this post. I suffered through the long single years, wondering if I'd ever get to be a Mom. And then I got married and discovered infertility, and Mother's Day became such a hard holiday. Now I'm a Mom and I also NEED it. I NEED that 1 day of recognition and "time out" from the normal stuff. I look forward to it, and I don't feel guilty.

  3. Becca - To me, this is where your writing hits that 'sweet spot"... I love these posts from you - Real. Raw. And funny as all get out. Loved this.

  4. LOLOLOL... that was great - Loved it - reading it really late, but had to say I loved it!