You don't want to know. You really don't. But let's just say that I discovered it after a rather embarrassing post-baby visit after I had my second baby. (Nothing like an OB/GYN saying "Oh wow, you've got some pad rash going on down here" to make you want to crawl under the nearest rock in your tissue-thin exam gown.) But you really should know that there IS a difference between synthetic absorbers found in Stayfree or Always and those super-expensive organic cotton "feminine protection" products at Earth Fare.
I'll give you a second so you can file that bit of information away for future reference in your Gee Whiz Fact File. You're welcome.
Chafing. One of the bains of a chubby girl's existence.
*It is at this point that I excuse all of my slender(skinny) friends and relatives from reading and invite you to go find something to eat in your fridge. Hopefully you have some chocolate or cheese handy. Please. Do it for me.
Now that it's only us pudgy girls, we can be frank. I went to the beach a couple days ago and had a lovely time building sand castles and playing in the surf, but in that mere 1 block walk back to the beach house, I had to encounter that evil monster: chafing. Chafing is why fat girls shalt not venture to run. Or bare their thighs at all. Because, I think we can all agree, that it is NO FUN to go buy Gold Bond Medicated Powder or walk around like a Texan just off a cattle drive for several days.
Which brings me to my real point: why do women get all the trials in this life? Seriously?! Let us compare:
- Middle School Girl's Bathrooms.
- Bosoms. (Or appropriate euphemism.)
- Pregnancy. (The hurling! The crying! The exhaustion! The weight gain!)
- Postpartum. (Two words: stool. softener.)
- Pap smears (What is a pap? Why do they smear it?)
- Mammograms. (I'll take cancer for 100, Bob.)
- Menopause. (Will the injustice never end???)
- Female Fat Cells.
- Placenta Brain.
- Can anyone think of anything??