Sunday, August 26, 2012
Well. That was awkward...
Oh, for the love.
School open house. These are hectic affairs where I, as the parent, feel more nervous about making a good first impression than my kids do. I mean, come on. These teachers are probably a good decade younger than me, but I'm still intimidated at the prospect of meeting a teacher.
First up: Thing 2's kindergarten teacher, Miss Miller. We were only there 3 minutes before I got all flustered. That will happen when you realize that your kids have not only rearranged all the carefully placed post-it notes with "Wish List" items on them, but then proceeded to scribble all over the shiny white boards. With permanent marker. In less time than it took me to fill out a single "Room Parent" form. (So sorry, custodial staff.)
In this state of slight-frazzle we apologetically head out the door and walk one hall over to meet Mrs. Gordon, 3rd grade teacher of Thing 1. I am so nervous about making a good impression on her. My daughter is so incredibly good, and I so desperately want this teacher to appreciate that. We walk through the door, shake hands, and, before I could stop myself, I took in the stance and the look and asked her when she was due.
I just wanted to die.
I still just want to die.
Because I KNOW that you do NOT ask that question. EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER.
But I did.
And she's not.
And in case you were wondering, there is no way to recover from that question. All you can do is look at the person, apologize profusely, and hand them a 100 dollar bill as penance.
Let's hope that my daughter has better social skills than I do.