Turn and turn again...

Sometimes, nothing turns out like you plan.

Not my life, though. I'm a planner.

Many years ago, my friend Taylor looked me in the eye and said "What are you going to do the first time God tells you 'no'??"

I guess I just figured, maybe He never would.

But fall is coming. And despite an almost desperate striving, I find that nothing much has changed.

The house has not sold.

The job is the same.

I have no pregnancy news to scrawl on the back of our thanksgiving cards.

I am afraid to think how this trend might apply to homeschooling.

Sometimes, nothing turns out like you plan. Sometimes, God tells us No.

Worn from walking this far

So worn from talking this much

And what we found and what we've seen

As the road curves down

And the lights come up to meet us

Silent for the evening

We enter this town like new born creatures

Those I know, Oh see anew

And the space between us is reduced

For I am human

and you are human too.

(All Thieves, Turn and Turn Again.)

(And yes, Carly. Inspired by you.)

Echo.

A tiny voice inside me has been whispering that she would like to write again.

I have told her, repeatedly, to hush.

I point to the house that's a wreck,

the depression that just. won't. quit,

and the fact that I ran out of things to write several months ago, which led to a neglected blog that is now quite empty.

I remind her that people with depression, like me, tend to be--for lack of a better phrase--kind of a downer. And the very last thing that a month like January needs?

A downer.

But she is such a pest, and she insists that she would like to write.

My apologies.

I tried to tell her...