Turn and turn again...

Sometimes, nothing turns out like you plan.

Not my life, though. I'm a planner.

Many years ago, my friend Taylor looked me in the eye and said "What are you going to do the first time God tells you 'no'??"

I guess I just figured, maybe He never would.

But fall is coming. And despite an almost desperate striving, I find that nothing much has changed.

The house has not sold.

The job is the same.

I have no pregnancy news to scrawl on the back of our thanksgiving cards.

I am afraid to think how this trend might apply to homeschooling.

Sometimes, nothing turns out like you plan. Sometimes, God tells us No.

Worn from walking this far

So worn from talking this much

And what we found and what we've seen

As the road curves down

And the lights come up to meet us

Silent for the evening

We enter this town like new born creatures

Those I know, Oh see anew

And the space between us is reduced

For I am human

and you are human too.

(All Thieves, Turn and Turn Again.)

(And yes, Carly. Inspired by you.)

Fear.

The world is in turmoil.

Japan.

Bahrain.

Libya.

Wisconsin.

Putting our house on the market.

Potty training.

Nothing seems right with the world.

But this week I was reminded on a time in my life. (A younger time.) When I used to tell myself that fear either meant STOP ("No, beloved idiot girl, don't move to Portland with no plans in place...") or fear meant GO ("Yes, scaredy cat, move to Los Angeles and take that job..."). It meant that I was absolutely moving in the direction that I shouldn't go... or that I should.

So, for now--for my sanity--I'm going to go with *should* on this one. Things are just as they should be. Even if they feel like they shouldn't be.