Special.

You know, I am a pretty fantastic mother.
And I'm not just saying that. I'm basing my superior status on empirical evidence.

Let's examine the facts:
1. I have three children.
2. None of them have died.

Right there, I am way ahead of most mothers in history. I don't think 5% of mothers could claim those accomplishments a century ago, which I think had less to do with dysentery and cholera and more to do with poor mothering skills.

But there's more. Oh yes, there's more.
3. I love to enrich my children's minds with copious amounts of PBS Kids "Curious George" and, thanks to Netflix "watch instantly", a healthy dose of WOW WOW WUBBZY: WUBBZY'S BIG MOVIE. I think that letting them watch androgynous creatures that speak with various accents and have no relationship to reality helps prepare them for the real world, with a special emphasis on doing anything you want and getting away with it.
4. The worst swear word my kids have come up with, so far, is "poop." So that's good.

So there you have it. I am a fantastic mother.
Hope you are feeling as confident and assured of your place in the future Hallmark Hall of Fame "Special Mothers" made-for-tv movie as I am today.
Happy Mothering.

Mother's Day Smother's Day

A rundown of my week:

Exhibit A: Thing 2 is potty-training.

Exhibit B: Thing 3 is teething.

Thus necessitating:
1. Copious amounts of chocolate chips, ice cream, and even a forbidden grilled cheese toastwich.
2. A re-read of Twilight.

Which has led to:
1. The Biggest Loser workout DVDs glaring up at me accusingly from my desk.
2. A house that would be condemned by the health inspector.

Which means:
1. I'm taking off for the weekend and letting my husband deal with the potty, the teeth, and the mess.
2. Happy Mother's Day to Me.

**

PS: Just so we're clear about this, THIS is Edward Cullen:

NOT this:

That is Cedric Digory with a bad makeup job, bless him.

Don't mess with the pictures in my head, people. ;)