Mom of the Year

Image by Anne Taintor

Should you ever find yourself pondering the question, "Self, am I as good a mother as Becca?" then you can quickly reach your conclusion by taking the following quiz:

1. Have you called Poison Control at least once in the past week?
Yes (5 points for each time you've called.) No (0 points)

2. How many of your children are currently sick?
1 point, per child, per illness. (For example, if little Suzy has a case of the green apple quickstep AND a raging case of the flu, that's two points.)

3. In the past week when making dinner, say--lentil soup--you
manage to catch something on fire.
Yes (10 points) No (5 points) Never (0 points)

4. True or False: A hot dog, with a vitamin filled dollop of ketchup, is a nutritious breakfast and a fabulous way to begin your child's day.
Absolutely (5 points) If I'm desperate (2 points) No (0 points) Vegetarian (-5 points)

5. You are already listening to Christmas music.
Yes (7 points) No (3 points)

6. Does your family have a list of Appropriate Places to Be Naked Policy? (Such as, your bedroom and bathroom are fine, but the kitchen and front yard are not.) If yes, 10 points.

7. Who has eaten more of the Halloween Candy, you or your children?
You (5 points) Your children (7 points) Equal amounts (10 points)

8. Does you child know what a cornucopia is? If yes, 5 points.

9. How many nights this week have you gone to bed and left the dishes in the sink? 1 point/day. Bonus point if the dishes from the day before spend the night in the sink for two nights.

10. Give yourself one point for each time you've gotten up with a child this week. Give yourself two points for each time that your spouse has gotten up with a child this week.

SCORE:

50 or Higher... Congratulations and rest at ease--you can be confident that you are, indeed, right up to par.

30-50... With just a little more ambition, you too could be the kind of mother that I am. A little less laundry, a little more facebook, and you should be just fine.

10-30... Hey, we all have our down weeks. Maybe you could set some goals. Start with this simple exercise: do all of your parenting from a sitting position for a day or two. It will have you well on your way.

0-10... Really?? I mean, really? How are we friends???