Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year, I would like any and/or all of the following:

1. A fully automated kitchen that cleans itself.

2. Harvard to nominate me for an Honorary Doctoral Degree. If they could give me one of the funny PhD caps, that would be great, but I'll settle for the diploma alone.

3. My waist back.

4. The book of my children's lives, unabridged, so I can see how this mystery/drama/comedy is going to end. If there's a Cliff Notes version, send that along, too. No "choose your own adventure" options, please.

5. The equity back in our house that the economy ate. I'll go for a "break even"

6. Speaking of self cleaning--if you could get some of those self cleaning clothes for my kids, it would probably be really good for the environment. I'm just sayin'...

7. The directors of Lord of the Rings to decide they want to (re)do the whole Twilight series. With a gigantic budget. And good actors. Please. For the love.

8. World Peace.

I think that should do it. In return, I shall make my Boston Mint Cookies. I'll even leave the recipe out.

Think about it.