Karma.

The other day I read on some other person's blog about how their baby puked all over the place at the Christmas party.

And I was all "HA! HAHAHA! That is sooooo funny."

And then karma happened.

Which began the story of HOLIDAY PUKEFEST '09 at our house. I'll spare you a photo.

Because of which, I know the following are true:

• A gigantic Tupperware bowl is an investment that just keeps giving. I might start giving them as wedding gifts with a note that says "For making huge macaroni salads! And the stomach flu that will result!" I'm sure I'll get a good thank you note for that.
• "Grape" flavored "Pediatric Drink" from CVS is significantly harder to clean up than the "Apple" flavored kind. Don't even think about that "Bubble Gum" flavor. Ew.
• A tutorial on how to "layer" when the stomach flu comes to your house:
  First, go to your towel or blanket closet or chest.
  Dig out that really ugly "Bed in a Bag" comforter from 1989. Place it on the floor.
  Layer with a sheet.
  Dig out the blanket that your husband's ex girlfriend gave him. Mutter under your breath. Place on top of the other blanket. Add a sheet.
  Continue layers. If you're lucky, 2 layers will do, but I suggest at least 5 layers.
  Place sick child on top of pile and wait for the inevitable. Remove layer and start clean. No mess, no fuss.
  You're welcome.
• I married the most.fantastic.man.on.the.planet. I kid you not. He totally took the first shift and let me sleep for longer than he had to. How many husband's will do that?!
• It doesn't matter how many times you scrub your hands in hot water with tons of soap and chase it with antibacterial hand sanitizer. You can do it until your hands have the texture of old, supple leather. It doesn't matter if you only rub your eyes with your shoulder and eat nothing--you are going to get sick, too. Keep that Tupperware handy.

Remember, laugh at your own risk. Karma'll getcha every time.